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Pregnancy—it’s supposed to be a magical time, right? At least, that’s what everyone says. Before I got pregnant, I was determined to power through it all. I added a third job to my already busy schedule, fully embracing my “beast mode.” In the first few weeks, it felt like everything was falling into place: I was a little moody, sure, but excited for both the baby and the amazing career opportunities coming my way. I thought these nine months would be the perfect window to accomplish everything before my little one arrived.
But that plan was quickly derailed. Just six weeks in—only two weeks after I even found out I was pregnant—it hit me like a ton of bricks. Nausea, fatigue, headaches. They stayed. Day after day, week after week. I had imagined a glowing, productive pregnancy, but instead, I found myself unable to do even the simplest things—things I took for granted. Doing my hair, listening to music, or just being around bright lights would trigger intense tension headaches. I would barely get out of bed, drag myself to work, and then collapse back into bed soon after getting home. I slept nearly 12 hours a day, and the other 12 I was moody, miserable, and lost in my thoughts.
Heavy thoughts began to creep in. I felt so disconnected—not just from everyone around me but from the baby growing inside me. The pain was so overwhelming I wasn't sure I could carry to term. I felt trapped in an experience that was far from the social media images of joyful baby bumps and serene expectant mothers.
This was the side of pregnancy that no one talks about—the side that isn't showcased on Instagram or Pinterest. The few times I did throw up, it felt like a relief from the constant nausea that seemed to last all day, every day—not just in the mornings. I began to feel like a shell of the person I was. My work suffered. I missed deadlines. I felt like I was dragging myself through each day, desperately trying to keep up with my responsibilities while my body waged a war I wasn't prepared for.
I wanted to be that boss career woman, to grab every opportunity that came my way. I felt my star rising and didn’t want to give up just when things were getting good. But reality had other plans. It became clear that I needed to prioritize my health, myself, and my baby.
I made the hard decision to step back from many of my responsibilities. I chose to slow down and focus on taking care of myself, embracing the fact that I was doing something incredibly profound: growing an entire human being. It wasn't an easy choice. But I’m grateful for that time in my life. It forced me to shift my focus from relentless productivity to something deeper—comfort and connection.
Understanding the Mental Health Challenges
What I experienced isn't unique, especially for Black women. Research shows that Black women are more likely to experience heightened stress, anxiety, and depression during pregnancy due to a variety of cultural, social, and systemic challenges.According to The Black Mental Health Alliance, Black women are at greater risk for perinatal mood and anxiety disorders (PMADs) compared to their white counterparts, due in part to the stress of racial discrimination, lack of social support, and disparities in healthcare access and quality.
These challenges can amplify feelings of isolation and inadequacy, making it even harder to manage the physical symptoms of pregnancy like nausea and fatigue. It's crucial to recognize that these feelings are valid and that they are often exacerbated by a lack of culturally competent care and support systems. Knowing this, we can better advocate for ourselves, seek out healthcare providers who understand our unique needs, and lean into communities that offer support and empathy.
I moved through this by learning to accept support from family and friends, to find solace in the quiet moments, and to truly appreciate the love and care that surrounded me. I’m even more grateful now for the beautiful baby who sits beside me as I write this. I made it through, and so will you.
If you’re struggling with pregnancy sickness, remember: You are not alone. It may be hard, it may feel dark, but there is light at the end of the tunnel.
8 Tips for Dealing With Pregnancy Sickness
Here are a few strategies to help you manage morning sickness while balancing a busy career:
Expect the Unexpected: Pregnancy is different for everyone, and it's okay if it's not what you imagined. Be prepared for symptoms to vary and give yourself grace when things don’t go as planned.
Prioritize Your Needs: Remember, you are just as important as your baby. Give yourself permission to prioritize your well-being, whether that means taking time off work or saying no to extra responsibilities.
Find Your Comfort: Focus on what makes you comfortable. Invest in a supportive pillow for better sleep, or create a calming space at work. Small changes in your environment can make a big difference.
Treat Your Symptoms: Speak with your doctor, doula, or midwife about the symptoms you're experiencing. They can offer guidance and suggest treatments that may help manage your morning sickness.
Rest Whenever You Can: Don’t underestimate the power of rest. If you’re sleeping more than usual, embrace it—your body is doing incredible work, and rest is essential.
Lean on Your Support Network: Don’t be afraid to lean on your partner, family, friends, and colleagues. Allow them to help with daily tasks or provide emotional support. You don't have to do it all alone.
Remind Yourself of Your Why: Stay connected to your purpose and the joy of becoming a parent. On tough days, keep in mind why you chose this journey and what you're working toward.
Celebrate Every Small Win: Even in challenging times, find reasons to celebrate. Whether it’s a good day at work or feeling a bit better than the day before, acknowledge every small victory.
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