The Invisible Load

Black women don’t just “juggle responsibilities.” We’re out here balancing everything from career goals to family caregiving with the precision of an Olympian, yet nobody seems to notice the effort. That invisible load—the mental checklist of who needs what and when—is exhausting, even when we make it look easy.

I once spent an entire evening writing a three-page manual for my aunt to take care of my daughter while I went away for the weekend. I even cooked and prepped meals because, deep down, I was worried about managing both of their needs at the same time. By the time I hit the bed, I hadn’t done a single thing for myself that day—and it showed.

Research backs us up: Black women are more likely to carry the bulk of caregiving responsibilities, all while holding down full-time jobs. A 2022 study by the National Alliance for Caregiving found that we also report higher emotional strain than other groups.

Make a “caregiving inventory.” Write down everything you’re handling—yes, even the mental stuff like remembering Auntie’s birthday or comforting a family member. Once it’s on paper, figure out what you can delegate or delay. Trust me, you don’t have to do it all.

Check Out This Resource:

🎧Podcast Listen: Taking Care of Yourself as a Caregiver on the Therapy for Black Girls podcast

Remember, you’re not a superhero—you’re human, and it’s okay to prioritize yourself. Delegating doesn’t mean you’re failing; it means you’re valuing your well-being as much as everyone else’s. By lightening your load, even just a little, you’re creating space for the care and rest you deserve. Let’s normalize sharing the weight and showing up for ourselves just as much as we do for others. You’ve got this. 💪✨

Honoring you,

Dr. Dom

This is part of Dr. Dom's Caregiver Chronicles series. Read the entire series here!