Breaking the Silence on Asking for Help

I captured myself doing the absolute most live on vacation in mom mode… looking cute, pumping, carrying a fully load diaper bag packed for a 3 month old and 3 year old ! Can we all say "Girl, you need (to ask for) some help!!"

You know how we do—handle everything, keep it together, and don’t complain. In a lot of Black families, asking for help is seen as a sign of weakness. But let’s be honest: silence about what we need isn’t helping anybody.

I used to wait until I was completely drained before asking for help. And even then, I’d overthink the request, doing extra work to make it "easier" for the person I was asking. By the time I heard, "I got this," I felt like all my effort to prepare for the ask was pointless. It was exhausting!

This isn’t just personal—studies show Black caregivers are less likely to use support services, despite having higher caregiving burdens. A lot of it comes from cultural norms and the historical mistrust of outside help.

Try a "small ask." Start with something simple, like asking a friend to grab a few groceries or sit with a loved one while you take a breather. Practice getting comfortable with asking for and accepting help. Baby steps can make a big difference.

Journal On This:

• Journal Prompt: "What stops you from asking for help? Reflect on one recent situation where asking for help could have eased your stress."

  
  

Remember, Sis, you’re not alone in this. You are capable, deserving, and worthy of support—not just for what you do, but for who you are. Take it one step at a time, and don’t forget to pour into yourself as much as you pour into others. The balance, joy, and peace you seek are within reach, and you are more than equipped to create it. Keep going—you’ve got this! ❤️

Honoring you,

Dr. Dom

This is part of Dr. Dom's Caregiver Chronicles series. Read the entire series here!